Wednesday, February 3, 2010


You know how when you go to Wal Mart you get your cart and then head across in front of the cash registers to begin your shopping? Yeah, that's what ya do.

Just close your eyes and imagine......I go in and get my cart. I start across the front of the store, passing by the checkout counters as I get ready to shop. It must have been a slow day at Wallys because as I headed by checkout area with my TOTALLY EMPTY cart, an overzealous Wal Mart checker asked me in the most cheerful way......."Were you you ready to check out?"

I quickly scanned the woman to see if she was holding one of those white canes with a little bit of red on the end. She was not.


Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I turned 40 on Sunday.

Can't. Believe. It.

I don't feel like 40. I'm in college with a bunch of people decades younger than myself. I am in better physical shape than I was when I was 20 and I am WAY smarter than I was when I was 20. I thought that I would have it all figured out by 40, but I don't.

I know that your attitude can make or break you, but I really hate that I am 40 now.


Today was the final day of what is called 'J-Term' at my college. It's a whole semester crammed into the month of January. Students usually take some general university requirements instead of regular courses relating to their major.

I had to take a religion course which is required for my liberal arts degree. Today, being the final day, we had small group presentations on a scripture.


Until the girl whose group was presenting started picking at the inside of her ear and examining the contents. She must have found something substantial, because she proceeded to scrape out the underside of her fingernail to rid it of the contents of her ear. Then, she went back for more.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Personal Rant

I have a new rant to rant heartily about. REALLY heartily.

My house was robbed two weeks ago. Some jerk pitched a rock through my front window, reached in to open the latch, and climbed in. We're a pretty wired family and the bastards helped themselves to some great electronic equipment. They got a few flat screen TV's, Wii system, Nintendo DS, digital camera, PDA, a couple of laptops and MP3 players, some jewelry, some cash, and my most prized possession, my coin collection.

They also took a bit of mine and my husbands sanity, and my kids piece of mind. I've had two kids sleeping on my bedroom floor every night since the break in. They are both totally freaked that someone was in our house touching our stuff.

I thought I had valuables well hidden in my master bedroom, but I was sorely wrong. Every item I had hidden, they found. And, they destroyed my bedroom in the process. Every drawer was dumped and every shelf was emptied. Aside from the junk all over the floor, my house kind of looked like Whooville after the Grinch stole everything on Christmas eve. There were wires hanging out where electronics used to sit.

It really sucks that they took my laptop. I had two years worth of nursing school projects and assignments on there (unsaved elsewhere of course,) and now they are all lost. Sadly, my laptop was pretty much my life. I'm feeling a little sick about this :(

My husband and his friends wired in an alarm system a few days later. From my experience, alarm systems come with their own set of problems. Our system is programmed to dial my husbands cell phone if it is breached. This could be good or not so good. Shortly after I left for school on Wednesday, my husband called desperately asking where I was. The alarm system was calling his cell phone and he wanted me to go back home and check on it. Even though I was going to be late, I zoomed back home. Everything was fine of course, I think the cat walking across the room had activated it. However, the sounding alarm had scared the poo (yes, I do mean literally scared the poo) out of my beautiful, gentle Whippet, Greta. She was standing there staring up at me with her big brown eyes in a kennel full of big brown turds. I couldn't just go back out the door to school and leave Greta in poop. I desperately started cleaning as fast as I could to get back out the door to school. You know that a poo cleanup cannot possibly go smoothly when you are hurrying like a maniac, right? An unseen turd rolled onto the floor as I cleaned. In my crazed state, I didn't see it until I had stepped into it and spread it all the way down the hall and into the kitchen.

I hope the robbers come back now. How about that? A poop filled house, you thieves want some poop smears? If they come back, maybe we could track them from Gretas poo DNA in their shoes.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Fall semester started in early September. I haven't had time to post since then. Surprising? No.

School is exhausting. I have classes Monday through Wednesday, clinical rotation Thursday and Friday nights, and then I work 12 hour shifts Saturday and Sunday. It is very difficult to juggle school, kids, dogs, husband, work, and home. But guess what? I am so happy to have this opportunity.

I never thought I would have the chance to achieve an education like this. In one short year and 1/2, I'll have a bachelors degree. No member of my family has ever attained this level of education. We weren't given credit for being very smart, sometimes with good reason. I never did homework in high school and I barely graduated. I swore I would never touch math again. My parents method of discipline included telling us on a regular basis how stupid we were. There were 7 children, my mom stayed home with us and my dad was a mechanic. Kids in families like mine don't go to college. They go into the Army, or they get married. My brothers all went into the military, my sisters and I got married. We did just what we were supposed to do according to the code of lower middle class families.

But now, at around 40ish, I am breaking the code. I could not be more grateful for this opportunity. I go to school, and I'm tired, overwhelmed, and crazed, but I am also so fortunate. I get to see my kids for about 30 minutes between Wednesday and Monday, but I am so fortunate. My husband is super fantastic, and for that I am very fortunate. Soon, I will have a real career. I'll have letters after my name. I'll have a degree to hang on the wall. And best of all, I'll have a HUGE party to celebrate.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Attack Clowns

My daughter is 15. Like many teenagers, she is a texting queen. Her 24,000 texts a month are not a problem for my husband and I as long as she follows the rules. The rules include; no texting during dinner, no texting during homework, must be turned off by 11:00 PM, etc..

Her texting became a problem at 1:35 AM last night.

The daughter woke me up at 1:35 AM, scared. Hmmm, 15, and still scared in the middle of the night? Yeah, it STILL happens. So I asked her what had her so scared. Apparently, chain mail texts are pretty rampant among her friends (how else do you get 24,000 texts in one month?) She said she doesn't believe them, but she forwards them anyway, just in case. Her friend sent her a chain text yesterday. It said if it wasn't forwarded to 15 friends, she would be attacked by a clown at 1:45 AM. A CLOWN!!???!? C'MON!!!!! The daughter told me she was really hoping she would sleep through 1:45, but since she woke up, she was scared. "Can I sleep in your bed?" Again, 15 and still wanting to sleep in my bed??? Yeah, it still happens. She climbs into the bed and we are trying to settle back to sleep. Suddenly we hear some road construction type of banging/clanking in the distance. "WHAT WAS THAT????" She asked, still shaking.

I shouldn't have, but I did............sometimes you just can't resist................
"It's a clown attacking your friends down the street, aren't you glad you forwarded that text?"

It's really hard to sleep with a quivering 15 year old scrunched up next to you.

Monday, September 7, 2009

PUD Trail

In the area where I live we have a public utility district trail to exercise on. Walkers, joggers, and bikers use the trail. The PUD trail is the scene of my "On the left!" or "On your right!" dilemma I ranted about earlier.

I usually bike the hills of the trail. I did this today. If I ride from my house, and ride the hills two times, then ride back home it gives me a good 10 mile hilly workout. I love it.

There are interesting people on the PUD trail. Today, there was a dude in a golf cart. His cart took up most of the width of the trail. Hmmmmm, I wonder what he does when he's on someones left or on their right.

There was also a woman whose boobs took up the width of the trail. Somehow, she was jogging. Hmmmmm, I wonder what she does when she's on someones left or on their right.

There are also millions (yes millions) of blackberries ripening along the PUD trail. Not to be derogatory or anything, but, what's the deal with Asians picking blackberries? Does anybody know? The ONLY people I EVER see out picking blackberries are Asians. Hmmmmm, I wonder what they do when someone is on their left or on their right.

Tomorrow, I go back to school. After a beautifully relaxing summer, it's back to grueling professors and extraordinary amounts of homework.