Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Personal Rant

I have a new rant to rant heartily about. REALLY heartily.

My house was robbed two weeks ago. Some jerk pitched a rock through my front window, reached in to open the latch, and climbed in. We're a pretty wired family and the bastards helped themselves to some great electronic equipment. They got a few flat screen TV's, Wii system, Nintendo DS, digital camera, PDA, a couple of laptops and MP3 players, some jewelry, some cash, and my most prized possession, my coin collection.

They also took a bit of mine and my husbands sanity, and my kids piece of mind. I've had two kids sleeping on my bedroom floor every night since the break in. They are both totally freaked that someone was in our house touching our stuff.

I thought I had valuables well hidden in my master bedroom, but I was sorely wrong. Every item I had hidden, they found. And, they destroyed my bedroom in the process. Every drawer was dumped and every shelf was emptied. Aside from the junk all over the floor, my house kind of looked like Whooville after the Grinch stole everything on Christmas eve. There were wires hanging out where electronics used to sit.

It really sucks that they took my laptop. I had two years worth of nursing school projects and assignments on there (unsaved elsewhere of course,) and now they are all lost. Sadly, my laptop was pretty much my life. I'm feeling a little sick about this :(

My husband and his friends wired in an alarm system a few days later. From my experience, alarm systems come with their own set of problems. Our system is programmed to dial my husbands cell phone if it is breached. This could be good or not so good. Shortly after I left for school on Wednesday, my husband called desperately asking where I was. The alarm system was calling his cell phone and he wanted me to go back home and check on it. Even though I was going to be late, I zoomed back home. Everything was fine of course, I think the cat walking across the room had activated it. However, the sounding alarm had scared the poo (yes, I do mean literally scared the poo) out of my beautiful, gentle Whippet, Greta. She was standing there staring up at me with her big brown eyes in a kennel full of big brown turds. I couldn't just go back out the door to school and leave Greta in poop. I desperately started cleaning as fast as I could to get back out the door to school. You know that a poo cleanup cannot possibly go smoothly when you are hurrying like a maniac, right? An unseen turd rolled onto the floor as I cleaned. In my crazed state, I didn't see it until I had stepped into it and spread it all the way down the hall and into the kitchen.

I hope the robbers come back now. How about that? A poop filled house, you thieves want some poop smears? If they come back, maybe we could track them from Gretas poo DNA in their shoes.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Fall semester started in early September. I haven't had time to post since then. Surprising? No.

School is exhausting. I have classes Monday through Wednesday, clinical rotation Thursday and Friday nights, and then I work 12 hour shifts Saturday and Sunday. It is very difficult to juggle school, kids, dogs, husband, work, and home. But guess what? I am so happy to have this opportunity.

I never thought I would have the chance to achieve an education like this. In one short year and 1/2, I'll have a bachelors degree. No member of my family has ever attained this level of education. We weren't given credit for being very smart, sometimes with good reason. I never did homework in high school and I barely graduated. I swore I would never touch math again. My parents method of discipline included telling us on a regular basis how stupid we were. There were 7 children, my mom stayed home with us and my dad was a mechanic. Kids in families like mine don't go to college. They go into the Army, or they get married. My brothers all went into the military, my sisters and I got married. We did just what we were supposed to do according to the code of lower middle class families.

But now, at around 40ish, I am breaking the code. I could not be more grateful for this opportunity. I go to school, and I'm tired, overwhelmed, and crazed, but I am also so fortunate. I get to see my kids for about 30 minutes between Wednesday and Monday, but I am so fortunate. My husband is super fantastic, and for that I am very fortunate. Soon, I will have a real career. I'll have letters after my name. I'll have a degree to hang on the wall. And best of all, I'll have a HUGE party to celebrate.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Attack Clowns

My daughter is 15. Like many teenagers, she is a texting queen. Her 24,000 texts a month are not a problem for my husband and I as long as she follows the rules. The rules include; no texting during dinner, no texting during homework, must be turned off by 11:00 PM, etc..

Her texting became a problem at 1:35 AM last night.

The daughter woke me up at 1:35 AM, scared. Hmmm, 15, and still scared in the middle of the night? Yeah, it STILL happens. So I asked her what had her so scared. Apparently, chain mail texts are pretty rampant among her friends (how else do you get 24,000 texts in one month?) She said she doesn't believe them, but she forwards them anyway, just in case. Her friend sent her a chain text yesterday. It said if it wasn't forwarded to 15 friends, she would be attacked by a clown at 1:45 AM. A CLOWN!!???!? C'MON!!!!! The daughter told me she was really hoping she would sleep through 1:45, but since she woke up, she was scared. "Can I sleep in your bed?" Again, 15 and still wanting to sleep in my bed??? Yeah, it still happens. She climbs into the bed and we are trying to settle back to sleep. Suddenly we hear some road construction type of banging/clanking in the distance. "WHAT WAS THAT????" She asked, still shaking.

I shouldn't have, but I did............sometimes you just can't resist................
"It's a clown attacking your friends down the street, aren't you glad you forwarded that text?"

It's really hard to sleep with a quivering 15 year old scrunched up next to you.

Monday, September 7, 2009

PUD Trail

In the area where I live we have a public utility district trail to exercise on. Walkers, joggers, and bikers use the trail. The PUD trail is the scene of my "On the left!" or "On your right!" dilemma I ranted about earlier.

I usually bike the hills of the trail. I did this today. If I ride from my house, and ride the hills two times, then ride back home it gives me a good 10 mile hilly workout. I love it.

There are interesting people on the PUD trail. Today, there was a dude in a golf cart. His cart took up most of the width of the trail. Hmmmmm, I wonder what he does when he's on someones left or on their right.

There was also a woman whose boobs took up the width of the trail. Somehow, she was jogging. Hmmmmm, I wonder what she does when she's on someones left or on their right.

There are also millions (yes millions) of blackberries ripening along the PUD trail. Not to be derogatory or anything, but, what's the deal with Asians picking blackberries? Does anybody know? The ONLY people I EVER see out picking blackberries are Asians. Hmmmmm, I wonder what they do when someone is on their left or on their right.

Tomorrow, I go back to school. After a beautifully relaxing summer, it's back to grueling professors and extraordinary amounts of homework.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Chia Seeds

I have an obsessive-compulsive co-worker. This girl is seriously obsessive crazy.

She eats 16 hard boiled eggs on egg day. She eats 4 ice cream bars for dinner on ice cream day. On yogurt day, she eats 5 yogurts in a row. When she has a cup of coffee, she adds 10 packages of creamer.

She once had a problem with constipation, so she decided to take a laxative. Remember I told you this girl is obsessive crazy? She couldn't just take two like the package said, she REALLY wanted to poop, so she took ten, yes TEN!!!!!!!! So, she pooped alright. She was not home when she took them, and by the time she made it home she was crapping her pants as she ran upstairs to the bathroom.

With all of this food she eats, you might think she is overweight but she's not! The obsessive crazy girl who eats obsessively also exercises obsessively. When she is in the mood to exercise she hits the treadmill or the stationary bike and stays on it for hours at a time, then she goes back to the gym for several days in a row, staying on a machine for hours every day. She continues this until everything hurts so bad she can't move, then she does it for a few more days before she takes a break.

So today at work obsessive-compulsive crazy girl decided to add some Chia Seeds to her yogurt. Yeah, Chia seeds. You know the Chia seeds used in the Chia pet commercials? Dr. Oz highly recommends them as a dietary supplement. She couldn't eat just one little scoop of (expanding) Chia, OH NO, that would be too easy...........she ate ELEVEN scoops! So, did you see that little (expanding) a minute ago? Chia seeds expand as they digest. The maximum you should eat in one day would be about three scoops. Yes, she ate ELEVEN!!!!!!!!

All afternoon she prayed to vomit. She didn't vomit.

I'm glad my shift is over and I don't have to stay at work with her because next comes the farting.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


My husband says I tend to rant when I get on a topic that fires me up. REALLY???? When did I start doing that???!!?!?

Monday, August 31, 2009

A Mad Ranter

I am a madwoman and sometimes I rant..........madly.

Let me tell you why I am a ranting madwoman. The following is a day in my life.

It all started last night..........My husband is out of state for the weekend to attend a family get-together. I got a call from him late last night that he was on his way to the emergency room because he was having chest pains, arm numbness, shortness of breath, and chills. My husband has been under quite a bit of work related stress lately, and the family get-together came a time that was difficult for him to get away from work. But, his Mom and his siblings would never have accepted that he was unable to come. So, like a good boy, he went.

I was awake most of the night as my brother in law called to give me updates from the hospital. As soon as morning arrived, my mother in law started calling too. It turns out hubby is fine though, all of the cardiac tests came back normal, and he was given a prescription to manage high blood pressure.

So, my day began with the phone ringing off the hook. I spoke to the relatives, and spoke to my husband. Then it was time to grab a shower, and eat breakfast. Now, let me just number my stops for you......
1) I delivered my son to daycare.
2) Stop by work to get some tuition papers signed by my boss.
3) Run and pick up a contract for my moms’ RV rental space.
4) Hurry home and grab lunch.
5) Take my mom to her dentist appointment for minor oral surgery.
6) After dropping mom at the dentist, it was back home to get my daughter.
7) Drop the daughter at golf practice.
8) Go back to the dentist to wait for my mom, and get her care instructions for the afternoon.
9) When my mom was done at the dentist, I dropped her back at the house.
10) Off to the drugstore to fill moms prescriptions.
11) Back to the golf course to collect my daughter.
12) Pick up son at daycare.
13) The three of us went to pick up the newly filled prescriptions, but the line was so long I decided to go back later to pick them up.
14) I went home, where the kids had a snack while I started dinner. I mixed up some biscuits and made a batch of beef stew. After dinner, the daughter and I cleaned the kitchen, then I finished the laundry that I started earlier, and finally relax a few minutes until it’s time to head to the airport to pick up my husband at 9:30 tonight.

Do you get why I am mad? Do you get why I rant? This all can only get worse when school starts. AAAAAAAKKKKKKkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 30, 2009


I am an exerciser. My favorite is jogging, though I also love biking and playing tennis. Exercise is how I attempt to manage some of the mad ranting I have inside of me. Sometimes, it contributes to it.

You know that movie from about 10 years ago with Tea Leoni and Penelope Cruz? It's the one where she is out for a jog, and has something to prove. She is running up a hill passing everyone. As she runs, she's all like "On your left!" or "on your right!" This is done with a smirk if I remember the movie correctly.

Okay, so I HATE telling people I am on their left or on their right. I HATE IT! I don't want to talk to people when I am exercising. Can't they just wear a rear view mirror or something? Can't they look behind them once in awhile? Besides, when I do make the effort to say "On your left!" They invariably get mixed up, and quickly jump to the left right into my pathway.

What is worse than the whole announcing-jumping-to-the-wrong-left thing, is when I don't say anything and attempt a stealthy pass. They ALWAYS, (and I do mean ALWAYS) do this little jump scream like maneuver which sounds like "Whhhhaaaaa!" or "Aaaaakkkk!" This annoys me FAR more than if I had just said I was behind them in the first place.

I'm working on this. For now, I think I'll buy a bell like old dudes have on their bike.

Ching, Ching! Ching, Ching!

Thursday, August 20, 2009


My Mom makes me crazy. She lives several hours away, but comes to visit OFTEN. I have several brothers and sisters, but she always stays with my family because I have the biggest house. I'm SERIOUSLY thinking about moving to a smaller house.

My Mom does not approve of anything. She doesn't like how I raise my children. She doesn't like that I take an occasional nap. She doesn't like that I bought a new sofa to take a nap on (my old 12 year old sofa was PERFECTLY FINE.) She doesn't like that my kids are happy and loud. She doesn't like it when I throw away moldy bread. That bread is fine, just pick off the moldy parts and eat it anyway. God forbid my Mother sees you throwing anything into the trash. A nice flat piece of cardboard is not trash, it can still be used for something. You know the plastic container you get from the store full of cut-up watermelon? It should be washed out and reused for something when the watermelon is gone. If the kids don't fill up enough of the paper they are drawing on she raises her eyebrows at their wastefulness.

Now, this is the other thing, my Mom does not actually say anything about these things to me. She says them all to my sister. At my house she does this little half raised eyebrows, half eye roll thing which is far more ANNOYING than if she would have just said something. Sometimes she just asks a question to make her point. Example: "Is Max throwing away that perfectly good paper clip?" or "Does Lexie just throw out her used maxi-pads without washing and reusing them?" There is one benefit to my Moms crazy "don't throw anything out" policy. My cereal cupboard has several boxes that contain a few bites of stale Cheerios or Chex rolling around the bottom. My Mom takes care of ALL of this icky staleness. She fills her bowl every morning with those last few bits of stale cereal and flattens down the boxes to save for some important project later.

I blame my Mother for my extra pounds. She has made it nearly impossible to throw away food from someones plate without taking a few more bites so it's not wasted. When I step on the scale, my usual exclamation goes something like; "AAARRRRGGGGHHH! MOM AGAIN!!!!!!!"

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Introducing KATE!

Hi, I am Kate! I have been an avid blog reader for several years now. I have finally decided that I have something to say. I hope you will find it as interesting as I do. If you don't, I don't think I care.

First, let me tell you a little about myself. I am a 40-something peri-menopausal woman with a ferocious temper and a recently realized anger management problem. I am a daughter, (an EXTREMEMLY angry daughter), I am a wife, (ususally an angry wife), I am a mother, (sometimes an angry mother), I am an employee, (occasionally an angry employee), I am a full time student (rarely an angry student), and I am a pet lover, (super rarely an angry pet lover!)
I search for peacefulness. I read my bible, I run, I bike, and I search for all the Zen tips for living I can find. It's just not helping.

I have chosen to name this blog "Rantings of a Madwoman" because I FEEL LIKE A MADWOMAN! You know those days when you want to run out the door screaming and pulling your hair by the roots? Yeah, that's how I feel a lot lately. I am just looking for a place to put it out there and clear this crazy head a bit. When I'm done, I am hoping to feel a little less angry and a little more like hanging out on the couch with my family having a bowl of popcorn and watching Americas got Talent. Hmmm, we'll see about that.

You will see that I LOVE to type in SCREAM, and I LOVE to OVERUSE punctuation !!!!!! !!!!!! ????? ?????? @#%&*!????? Don't tell me if this bugs you. Remember, I'm an angry madwoman, and you'll probably just make me mad.