Saturday, September 5, 2009

Chia Seeds

I have an obsessive-compulsive co-worker. This girl is seriously obsessive crazy.

She eats 16 hard boiled eggs on egg day. She eats 4 ice cream bars for dinner on ice cream day. On yogurt day, she eats 5 yogurts in a row. When she has a cup of coffee, she adds 10 packages of creamer.

She once had a problem with constipation, so she decided to take a laxative. Remember I told you this girl is obsessive crazy? She couldn't just take two like the package said, she REALLY wanted to poop, so she took ten, yes TEN!!!!!!!! So, she pooped alright. She was not home when she took them, and by the time she made it home she was crapping her pants as she ran upstairs to the bathroom.

With all of this food she eats, you might think she is overweight but she's not! The obsessive crazy girl who eats obsessively also exercises obsessively. When she is in the mood to exercise she hits the treadmill or the stationary bike and stays on it for hours at a time, then she goes back to the gym for several days in a row, staying on a machine for hours every day. She continues this until everything hurts so bad she can't move, then she does it for a few more days before she takes a break.

So today at work obsessive-compulsive crazy girl decided to add some Chia Seeds to her yogurt. Yeah, Chia seeds. You know the Chia seeds used in the Chia pet commercials? Dr. Oz highly recommends them as a dietary supplement. She couldn't eat just one little scoop of (expanding) Chia, OH NO, that would be too easy...........she ate ELEVEN scoops! So, did you see that little (expanding) a minute ago? Chia seeds expand as they digest. The maximum you should eat in one day would be about three scoops. Yes, she ate ELEVEN!!!!!!!!

All afternoon she prayed to vomit. She didn't vomit.

I'm glad my shift is over and I don't have to stay at work with her because next comes the farting.

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